A series of Marauders Headcanons that may of may not give you feels
by Babyinatrencoat1967
Summary: Just a bunch of random Maruaders stories that I dreamnt up at 2 am.


It had been a little less than a month since The Prank. I had barely slept since. I still couldn't look Moony or Prongs in the eyes. I rarely talked to them. Not to joke, not to ask for answers to questions on homework. I would sit away from them whenever possible. They would try and talk to me, but I wouldn't respond. They had forgiven me over the Christmas Holiday. I hadn't.

"Sirius," someone said. I looked up from trying to transfigure my dog into a cat. McGonagall was standing in front of my desk, a worried expression lying on her face. She was the first to know what I had done. I had been dragged to her office. She had been about to tell me off when she had seen the horror on my face at what I'd almost done.  
"Come to my office after class." The others were obviously listening, because they all turned. I nodded at her and went back to the puppy. I thought it would be morally wrong of me to transfigure it. Before she left, McGonagall realized what was wrong and picked up to black puppy, which I had named Padfoot Jr. by that point.

I walked into Minerva's office, wondering what I had done. "Yes, Professor?"  
"I have noticed you have been isolating yourself from the others as of late."  
I swallowed hard, "Yes."  
From the look on her face, you would have guessed I was her son that she was worried would die alone. "Why?"  
"I couldn't face them after what I did. I don't deserve them as friends. They don't need me."  
"Sirius, I don't support what you have done, but you cannot punish yourself forever. You were wrong, your friends do need you. You need them."  
I sat down heavily in a chair facing her desk. "My mum was right. I just screw up everything I touch." She looked at me, shocked.  
"First of all," she said angrily, "Your mother is never right with anything that concerns you. Second of all, you made a mistake. You shouldn't have done it, but do you know why James fixed it?"  
"Lily would never speak to him again if he had let Snivellus die?"  
She tried to give me a stern look, but cracked a smile. "Well, there's that, but it's also because he is your friend. Because friends fix each other's mistakes, Sirius. Now, if you do not go back to the Gryffindor common room right now and start talking to them again I will give you detention." I smiled and left, but I didn't get to far out of the room before Lily ran headfirst into me and started crying into my shirt.  
"Lily," I said, worried, "What's wrong?" She wrapped her arms around me in a hug. She was a good head shorter then me. I smoothed her hair and hugged her back.  
"Sirius, you must help me. Snape won't talk to me." _Oh, God. This is my fault._  
All of us had become close to Lily over the past few months. As mad as the other Marauders were at me at first, they hadn't told Lily what I had done.  
I wrinkled my nose and laughed. "Why would you want to talk to old Snivellus any ways? His hair has enough grease in it to give anyone a heart attack." She laughed and punched me weakly.  
"This isn't funny."  
"Ok, ok." I lead her to a seat near the window. "Just tell me what happened."  
She took a deep breath and wiped away a tear. "Well, I hadn't spoken to him in a month. We only have one class together this year, but he's been in the hospital wing for some reason. So during potions, Slughorn said find a partner. I would have chosen James, since he needed more help then Severus, but he was sick today." "Sick," meaning that Wormtail had broken his arm and he had ditched to make sure he was ok. I went in after he left and Peter fell asleep. "So I turned to ask him if he wanted to be my partner," Lily went on, "And he turned to me, sneered and said, 'I don't want to be near anything to do with Potter. Especially a Mudblood.' And of course I was upset, but I'd be damned before I let him see that he had gotten to me. So I smiled and shrugged and helped Frank Longbottom, since he is abysmal at potions and is only taking it to become an Auror." She took a shaky breath. "I was on my way up to find James and confront him, but I ran into you and. . ." Another tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it away. "What the hell has James done?" she asked angrily.  
Lily was scary when she was mad. Knowing I was about to be on the receiving end of that anger, I took a deep breath to tell her what had happened. There was no way I was going to let James take the fall and possibly ruin any chance he had with her. "It wasn't James-" I started, but at that moment, James himself popped out from behind a curtain.  
"No, what happened is completely my fault. Nothing to do with Sirius at all."  
Remus stuck his head out beside James. "And mine. Sirius is innocent."  
Peter came out next, "I would say it's my fault, too, but no one will tell me what's bloody going on, so I can't." He sounded very irritated that his friends were ignoring him. We all had been in Peter's position before. Something happened, and the other's won't tell us what.  
"No, it was my fault. I did this." We argued for seven minutes about who exactly was to blame before Lily got irritated.  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU IDIOTS ARGUING ABOUT?"  
"I nearly got Snape killed." Lily's jaw clenched. "James saved him. That's why he doesn't want anything to do with James. You can't hate someone who saved you."  
"How?" she growled at me. A stared at the floor.  
"I can't say. The secrets not mine to tell."  
"It's mine," Remus whispered. James looked at him, wide eyes.  
"You don't have to do this."  
"I know." He stepped out from behind the curtain. "But she's a smart one, James. She has already figured it out."  
Lily nodded a Remus, "Yes, I have."  
"How?"  
"Hmm, lets see, James. All his friends call him Moony. He is always 'ill,' around the full moon, and I assume McGonagall knows because we have a lot less homework the weeks before and after the full moon because she has always had a soft spot for you idiots."  
James and Remus smiled. I saw Peter slip twenty galleons into James' hand.  
"So what this have to do with Snape?  
"Snivellus was sticking his abnormally large nose where it needn't have been. I thought I give him a good scare, so I told him to go to the Shrieking Shack on the full moon. He nearly died, but James caught hold of him and pulled him back through the tunnel. He only caught a glimpse of Remus, but it was enough. He went to Minerva and told her everything. She didn't yell at me. She didn't have to say 'I'm not angry, I'm disappointed,' but I could feel it. That's why I haven't been talking to the others, I don't deserve them."  
"Why, Sirius?"  
"I'm not going to justify my actions."  
"Why not?"  
"Because, James, there is no justification."  
This is it, this is when they're going to realize that they don't need me. They'll leave me behind. I won't be able to blame them.  
"Sirius." Remus enveloped me in a huge hug. Remus had a growth spurt over the summer, so he was a head taller than me, and I was always mad about it, but not now. I hugged him back, buried my face in his shoulder, and cried. He pat my back and rested his cheek on the top of my head. Peter gasped a bit. Everyone knew that I didn't like being touched.  
I heard James lean over to Lily and whisper, "This make Dumbledore look straight." Lily snickered a bit and shoved James. I didn't let James' words get to me. I felt happy for the first time in days.  
"It's ok, Sirius. I forgive you."  
"I haven't," I whispered back through tears.  
He pulled away slightly. "What?" He looked me up and down. "What did you just say, Sirius?"  
I didn't respond, hanging my head, my hair covering my face. I wanted to hug him again.  
His hands dropped from my shoulders. "Sirius."  
James grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her down the corridor, Peter taking the hint and following. They had all found out on three separate occasions. I had been trying to work up the courage to tell Remus, but seeing him upset breaks me a little.  
"Sirius, what did you just say?"  
"Nothing, Remus. It's nothing."  
"Sirius," he whispered, eyes wild. "Tell me."  
I kept staring at the floor. "I don't forgive myself easily. It's just for I was raised. My mum and dad didn't like when I did bad stuff. So they taught me not to."  
Remus grabbed my arm. I tried to pull away weakly, but he pushed up my sleeve, exposing all the bruises and cuts that peppered my arms. He pushed his hair out of his face a turned away. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Remus," I whispered.  
"YOU'RE SORRY?" he rounded on me. All the rage that I feared on his face. "WHO DID THIS?" I shrunk back against the wall, away from his anger.  
McGonagall threw her door open. "WHO IS YELLING OUT HERE?" She caught a glimpse of my arms and Remus nearly pulling out his hair. Her eyes widened and she stormed up the stairs. I pulled out the map and saw she had gone to the owlery.  
"She is going to the owlery."  
Remus didn't talk.  
"I shouldn't have said anything. This always makes people mad at me."  
He rounded on me again. He had been angrily punching the panes out of the window. "WHAT!"  
I shrugged. "Whenever I tell someone, they get really angry, so I leave before they start yelling."  
"Why?" he asked, quietly.  
"Yelling leads to this." I gestured up and down my arms.  
He took a step forward. I backed away and held up my hands in defense. "Please don't." Something behind Remus' eyes broke.  
"What?"  
"Please don't hit me. I know I made you angry. I know I deserve it, but please don't." Tears filled my eyes as I cowered. I shook from pain.

Cuts and bruises ran all up and down his arms. Some of the cuts were green and looked infected. I turned around, not wanting him to see the angry tears that spilled over my cheeks.  
"I'm sorry," he whispered weakly. Rage boiled up inside my chest.  
"YOU'RE SORRY?" I screamed, turning back to him. "WHO DID THIS?" He collapsed against the wall.  
Professor McGonagall opened her office door and scream. "WHO IS YELLING OUT HERE?" Her eyes flicked between me and Sirius' arms. A horrified expression crossed her face. She stormed down the hall. I turned on the window and violently punched that glass out of the panes.  
"She's going to the owlery."  
I didn't trust myself to talk, afraid I would scream.  
"I shouldn't have said anything. This always makes people mad."  
Now I needed to scream. "WHAT?" Sirius shrugged.  
"Whenever I tell someone, they get really angry, so I leave before they start yelling."  
"Why?"  
"Yelling leads to this." He indicated his busted up arms. I took a step forward, intending to hug him again, but he cowered back and held up his hands defensively.  
"Please don't," he whispered. I didn't know what to say.  
"What?" I whispered in disbelief.  
"Please don't hit me. I know I made you mad. I know I deserve it, but please don't." Tears rolled down his cheeks and mine. He covered his ears and stuck his head between his knees. Sirius Black had been one of my best friends for six years. He was one of the strongest people I knew. It hurt to see him so weak. So broken that reality didn't exist. He actually believed I would hit him. He actually believed that he deserved it.  
"Sirius, I'm not-" I started.  
He shook his head. "No, Moony, it's ok. I had this coming. I shouldn't have told you."  
"Sirius," I said, slowly inching closer, so I didn't alarm him. "I'm not going to hurt you." I sat down beside him. "Now, please tell me. Who. Did. This?"  
"You know," he joked, "Just a bit of motherly love." He laughed.  
"Don't joke," I said. I threw my arm around him. His head fell onto my shoulder, but he continued crying. Tears splashed onto the front of my robes, but I didn't mind.  
"How long?"  
"I don't know." He looked at me, confused, "Do your parents not do this?"  
"No."  
"I'm not sure if this is better," he breathed.  
"Better then what."  
"Before. You seemed happy without me. Now you're mad, and it's because of me and. . ."  
"That's not even close to the truth. To be honest, I am in dire need of sleep. I thought you weren't talking to us because you were mad about something." We sat there outside McGonagall's office for a long time, missing three classes, one of which was McGonagall's.  
"Is this why you wouldn't talk to us? Is this why you've been so hard on yourself?"  
"Over Christmas, my mom found out I had nearly got a Slytherin boy killed. She didn't know how. When I didn't tell her, she got mad. There are more on my back."  
"I'm sorry this happened."  
"Me too."  
I smiled at him, "Do you forgive yourself now?"  
"No," he replied, "But I'm starting to."

We fell asleep. I blearily opened my eyes to find Minerva herself to be standing in front of me smiling. "How long have we been here?"  
"It's almost eleven, Remus."  
"Alright, we'll be going. Did James and Peter come looking?"  
"Yes, I old them not to disturb you. I blocked off this corridor so you two could catch up on some well deserved sleep."  
"Thanks," I whispered back, smiling.  
"Before you go, I need to talk to Mr. Black."  
"Alright," I nodded. I poked Padfoot with my finger several times until he stirred.  
"What?"  
McGonagall sat down in front of us. "I saw your arms earlier." Sirius' whole body tensed. He lifted his head and looked at his knees.  
"I'm sorry."  
Minerva looked the same as I had felt when I heard this. "No, no, Sirius, you needn't apologize. It's the wretched woman that should be sorry. The moment I saw, I went to the owlery and sent a letter."  
"Too who?" he growled.  
"To your parents." His head shot up and he glared at her forcefully. If looks could kill.  
"You did what?" he nearly screamed.  
"I sent a letter to your parents," she repeated, "saying that I knew what they had done. I will be putting a charm on you that will detect the second they touch you with the intention of causing you harm."  
"What would happen?"  
"The Potters will be alerted that they will have company." She smiled and squeezed Sirius' arm. "If they do this again, leave. Go to James." She turned to me, "I can add you, so you will know to if he is hurt."  
"Moony, you really don't have too."  
"I know." I nodded at her and she smiled. She nodded back and waved her wand. Purple sparkles burst out of the end of her wand and engulfed us. When they cleared, we stood up and walked to the common room.  
Sirius was leaning heavily on me. The second we crawled through the entrance hole, I was met with the sight of Lily, Peter, and James staring accusingly at us. James opened his mouth, but I shook my head. He quickly shut it. Lily helped me bring Sirius up into the dormitory and throw him lightly unto his bed.  
We returned to the common room to James and Peter. "So you found out?" he asked.  
I swallowed hard. "Yeah. When did he tell you?"  
"He didn't tell me. It was our first year. We were changing in the dormitory while you and Peter were doing homework. He insisted on changing his shirt behind a curtain, so I decided to mess with him a bit. I flicked my wand and the curtain moved aside and I saw these. . .horrible scars all over his back. Like finger nails. I was speechless. He turned to me, horrified. He apologized. I didn't understand. I gave him a hug, and he just started crying. We have talked about it once since."  
"I found out the first full moon we were Animagus. Sirius took off his shirt to transform. It was quick, but I saw it. The scars. I confronted him about it later, but he lashed out on me." I turned to Lily.

"How'd you find out?"  
Her and James' face both turned red. "I'd rather not say."

"Now that is just unfair. I told you I was a werewolf."

"Fine," she scowled, "I was hiding under James' bed when he came in and started ranting about Peter finding out."

"Wh-" I began to ask, then I realized and started laughing.  
"Oh, what? Like you're not dating one of our friends." I stopped laughing at the mention of Sirius.  
"First, we are not dating. Second, neither are you two. Third, you've known for five years and didn't tell me?"  
"He begged me not to tell anyone. We've become pretty good at keeping secrets."  
I smiled slightly. "McGonagall knows."  
"What did old Minnie do?"  
"She put a charm on him. Now, if his parents hit him, your mum and dad and I will be alerted immediately. She told him to leave if that happens." James nodded.  
Sirius dramatically stumbled out from the dormitory tossing his head back. "So you all know now," he said, smiling a genuine smile. His long black hair was in a bun held up by a wand. My wand.  
"Why is my wand in you hair, Padfoot?"  
"Because I had no other way to hold my magnificent mane in it's proper place, Moony."  
I pursed my lips and glared. "Give it back, now."  
"Or what?" he dared to reply, "You'll hex me? The last time I checked, you need this." He dramatically pulled the wand out and his hair fell around his shoulders. "Come and get it."  
I glared at him, enraged. Lily leaned over to James. "They are really mad at each other despite the fact that they were just snuggling." Lily got a death glare from both me and Sirius while James fell out of his chair laughing.


End file.
